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thought it was my art teacher. November 26, 2009

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so i saw a lady yesterday at work who looked JUST like my high school art teacher, so when i went up to the register to help her, i smiled and waved real big and said, “HIIIII!” and the lady just kinda stared at me.

hahahahhahahha. it wasn’t my art teacher. so i was just a REALLY enthusiastic employee. how’s that for customer service.

 

ok thats all.

its a start… November 25, 2009

Posted by highofseventyfive in just thoughts.
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“Quick! Get a paper towel, a sponge, anything!”

Sound urgent? A spill? Before there’s too much of a mess, I’ll share how I’ve been filled to overflowing– and my life will never be the same. You see, as if a glass could contain the sea, that’s the way God is in me. A simple lyric from a song, but it couldn’t be truer!

The empty cup:

Four years ago, Jess and Chris knocked on my  freshmen dorm room door, and told me that Jesus came and died on a cross so people could go to heaven. With a dismissive wave I said, “sure, sure, I know that”. But did I know Him? The things they said challenged me.  The more they talked, the more intrigued I was by this Jesus guy. That night I dedicated my life to getting to know this captivating God who loved me more than I had realized.

Pouring:

These two students brought me to their group that met weekly on campus to rock out, and learn more about God. Students in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship paired me with a mentor so I could ask lots of questions and learn some basics (the Bible was broken up into books, chapters, and verses, for instance). Jess brought me with her to church, and by the next Fall I was in two small groups studying the Bible. Chris led one of them, where I learned about how I could share the story of Christ, because someone had already shared it with me. I attended leadership training camps, and by junior year I was coordinating evangelism and community service events to reach out to my campus. Senior year found me casting vision as the president of a 220+ member group at The College of New Jersey.

Line of meniscus:

Not only (and most importantly) has my eternity been impacted by the work of faithful students, but I grew as a leader and as a person of character through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.

let the journey… November 20, 2009

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Let the journey begin. I was about to say, Let the journey begin! but we all know that it has already begun. It began almost four years ago.

And this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.

eternity has already begun, and the journey has already begun. I even look at the things in my life the past year, have all been working to set this up. I have an amazing close-to-full-time hours job at Starbucks, and I’m volunteering at Rider and TCNJ, its all lining up. I turned down two full time jobs for this. And though things may change, the Lord might change my circumstances at any time, could sweep the floor right out from underneath me, I have a vision and a direction for my life “right now” and it will take me as long as it needs to. There is a 300,000 student mission field in central/south New Jersey and God is sending me strategically to a college.

My head’s spinning! I am in just such the right spot now.

 

I said something like, “I don’t feel very official” or “when will I feel official?” and Greg bops me on the head and says, “there, now you are”.

:-)

there you have it folks, the ordination. nothing fancy, nothing dramatic. a conversation at a table in a cafe, and a pat on the head.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

Let the journey CONTINUE!

 

and this is eternal life: November 18, 2009

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so this week has been terrific. I feel so alive. I keep reminding myself of John 17:3 which says,

 

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.

Eternal life is not some final destination. Eternal life is THIS: knowing God. wow. So this week, I’ve been praying and keeping at the front of my mind, that THIS, right now, is LIFE. life abundant. and that eternity is already in motion. Am I living “eternally-minded”? Am I KNOWING God, the best I can?

He’s been giving me good rest so far this week. I’m not tired. I had such a relaxing car ride back from Hershey today. the turnpike was terrible, but i was in the zone and praying and Loren was quiet and it was just so relaxing! I felt so rejuvenated after that time.

And it was kinda funny, we went to chocolate world. and so there i was, IN a candy factory! like my dream, lol. and I couldn’t decide on what to buy, but thats mainly because i only had $7. I bought a Reese’s Fastbreak. I love those.

now i’m back, going to Panera’s for a yummy bread bowl with Caroline and then large group at Rider! to sleep for another lovely day in the Kingdom on thursday.

 

woooohoooooo!

hello hurricane November 15, 2009

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so this coming up week is going to be one of those weeks. one of those weeks where every day is super calculated out. and any spare time is going to be spent sleeping. and the time awake is going to be spent complaining about how tired i am. and the whole week i will spend running my schedule over and over and over in my head. one of those weeks where things that aren’t happening for DAYS are making me exhausted just thinking about it. and i will ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. (even the ones where i’m complaining)

are you pumped?! if you are a stalker, well now you get to see where i’m at all week. hopefully no stalkers read my blog. “go away stalkers!”

monday: pack, plan for trip. 1p-9:30p work at sbux, go to sleep as soon as i get home!

tuesday: wake up at 5am! gaah! 6a-1:30p work at sbux. 2:30p meet Loren, drive to Millersville, Pennsylvania. dinner, doors @ 6pm Anberlin concert at MU. sleep over tackalack’s house.

wednesday: wake up (!) drive back to NJ. nap time??? large group @ 8pm. go to sleep as soon as I get home!

thursday: wake up at 6 (!) 7a-3:30p work at sbux. mentoring at 4p & 7p? go to sleep as soon as I get home!

friday: wake up at 4am (!) 5a-1:30p work at sbux. 2pm lunch interview meeting with greg and cathy. pack, quick nap? 6pm Central youth group ALL NIGHTER.

ALL NIGHT.

saturday: 8am, kids go home. 1p-9:30p work at sbux. CRASH

sunday: church.

average sleep each night: 5.3 hours

 

rock on.

wowzas! November 11, 2009

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how amazing. what a great large group, people sharing their testimonies of what God has done in their lives.

here are a FEW of the many things people wrote down about how God has changed them in the last year. so cool!

the vision: students and faculty transformed, campuses renewed, world changers developed.

students and faculty being transformed! check!

 

God gave me this new heart- one that is filled with his love.

Bigger dreams that include Him.

It wasn’t until this past year that I have felt Him impact my life.

God has healed my back.

God has brought me to intervarsity! :-) He has taught me not to judge people. He has shown me that I have leadership qualities.

God has helped me manage anger and stress more.

In the last year God has showed me the standards to which I need to have for a romantic relationship.

Delivered me out of depression.

God has taught me that he values obedience as much as zeal.

He showed me that I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places.

He has really inspired me to break out of my comfort zone and do things that I had never done before.

 

adventures of the week November 6, 2009

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this week has been terrific!

monday: just worked, hillary visited!

tuesday: interview in somerset! then work

wednesday: new york city with IV people! large group @ Rider

thursday: work, mentoring, large group @ TCNJ, applebees!

friday: nicey/mdon lunch! freelance, work

 

a full, adventurous, totally NOT boring week! also in there, I am sick. bleh! feeling perdy crappy, but doing everything anyway, haha.

 

 

my transformative story November 4, 2009

Posted by highofseventyfive in Design, profound thoughts, theology.
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whats better? to copy paste or to make something new?

if you asked an artist, or a composer, what would their response be? copying someone else’ ideas and stamping them as your own is wrong. and just not creative. i’d see some fingers wagging in disapproval at that one.

think about the first day of every class you’ve ever taken. whats on the syllabus? “don’t plagiarize”. or what? they’ll expel you!

Main Entry: pla·gia·rize
Pronunciation: \ˈplā-jə-ˌrīz also -jē-ə-\
Function: verb

to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one’s own : use (another’s production) without crediting the source

if you decided to copy paste an article from wikipedia and plop it at the beginning of your essay, a teacher wouldn’t get too far before they got suspicious, and maybe just went ahead and gave you a big fat F. instead, they want you to be able to say in your own words, to take the information all around you, and make it your own, otherwise, it is inauthentic.

i’ve seen this theme played out in my life. growing up, i copy-pasted social cues, cultural ideas, and faith beliefs from whatever I saw around me. Whether it was Oprah, or going to church every now and then, or what I was exposed to during holidays. But I didn’t see anything wrong with it, because the people I saw seemed to be doing the same thing. No one lived out the stuff they were teaching or learning, except maybe those really Holy people, but instead just plopped things onto their lives and went around doing whatever they pleased.

One day two people came to tell me about their faith. They asked me all sorts of questions, and I knew the answers mostly. They didn’t seem to believe me (consider that a copy-paste life doesn’t always resonate as being genuine) and so they shared the story of Jesus. They told me that he came and lived as a man because He had compassion on us, and longed for us to be in a relationship with Him. Each and every one of us. They talked about how we weren’t good enough to be with God in heaven because no matter how much we try, we sin and aren’t perfect. They said that Jesus came and died as a sacrifice, and came back to life, defeating death (the only person to ever do that mind you). After this we could trust that God really did this and hang out with God the way we hang out with our friends or people that we love. That was the only way to be in Heaven, and the question that really struck me was, “would Jesus be able to say I knew Him, when I die?”

Right then and there I committed to being in a relationship with this Jesus guy, to learn more about him, find out what it meant to follow Him. It was so compelling, how much He loved us!

What’s neat about this, is that instead of copy-pasting this new set of ideas or cravings on top of my old self, God cut out the old, and put in something new. Think about it, if you suddenly got an epiphany while writing your essay, and start to actually write it yourself, but you didn’t delete the plagiarized part from before, the teacher wouldn’t even get that far! Big Fat “F”. The only way to be new, would be to cut out the old. I wanted to be new, I wanted it to be for real, for it to be MY story and not someone else’.  I needed to stop copy-pasting, and actually make it my own.

instead of copy-pasting this new set of ideas or cravings on top of my old self, God cut out the old, and put in something new.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come”. This couldn’t explain it better!

So, as an artist, and as a person genuinely seeking to live life as authentically as possible, I’ve found its better to create new than to copy-paste.

What does it look like that God made me new? He changed my heart. It says he takes out your heart of stone and gives you a heart of flesh. Meaning, He’s going to give you a heart that wants to love Him back.

One way He did this, was to open my eyes to new ways of looking at the things in my life. For instance; all through high school i had this verocious appetite for music. my friends and i would discover new bands like you brush your teeth. ALL the time! (i hope, ew, you don’t? you’re gross!) But I would just download it, or we’d burn it from each other, never buy it. While I think this issue is quite minimal, for me, it was more about my heart, than about the action. My heart was greedy, gluttonous, to have everything I wanted, without any consequences.  More, more more. and with shortcuts. tax fraud, stealing clothes, cheating on a test, are all ways to get the end result without having to do anything hard, without giving up anything you already have to get it. God helped me see that this was counter to the way He wanted my heart to be as I followed Him. And so he changed my appetite for music! I started wanting music a little less. I also decided to start buying CD’s instead. Now, I do spend a decent amount of money on CD’s, but the way I view music, and money even, has changed dramatically. God didn’t change who I was necessarily. He didn’t change my passion and inkling for indie bands that no one’s ever heard of. But He did change the way I look at acquiring them, and what those things really meant to me. Does this make sense? I mean, thats just one little example.

Moral of the story, if you’re copy-pasting in your life; just plopping faith, or all sorts of beliefs, on top of who you are, people are going to be able to tell. They’re going to know you’re confused, they’re going to question why you don’t practice what you preach. That’s what people call a hypocrite. and actually, according to merriam webster, the only kind of hypocrite is a religious one! verrrry interesting, look!

hypocrite:

a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

make faith your own. because what’s neat is, God cuts out the old, and creates a new life in you, that can live forever, who can talk with Him, and participate in the divine nature and things in His kingdom.

Yep, that’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!

let the journey continue! November 2, 2009

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so, I made a decision earlier this weekend. and something dawned on me this morning. i really do have a peace about my decision. why? welp, i thought about how there is an example in the Bible where a dad has a miracle baby. (its a miracle because they had tried and tried, and the couple were now too old) So as the son is growing, God promises the Dad that he would have tons of descendants. Then, God throws him for a loop and asks him to sacrifice his son’s life! Talk about confusion here; the God who promised that he’d have a long lineage, is going to end the life of the only son? What’s that all about God? But he was obedient, and took his son up to a moutain. As he was about to sacrifice his son, God stops him. Phew! But why, again? Because God just wanted the dad to trust him. His promise was still valid, but he wanted the dad to be obedient and trust him.

And so in our lives, God may call us to give something up, or to be open to an option that tends to not make any sense. Or do something that we don’t want to do. But just because he asks us to be willing to sacrifice, give up, or ignore our logic, doesn’t actually mean he wants it to happen. He just wants our hearts to be willing. How will we know if we are truly willing unless the decisions come up?

This is how I am feeling right now. I was willing to do either of the options. I was willing to do something I didn’t really want to do, for however long I needed to do it. But just because I was willing didn’t mean it was what I actually had to do. In fact, I think because I was willing to pick the one choice, showed that I was ready for the other choice.

Let the journey continue!

baseball. its kind of like religion. October 29, 2009

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baseball. its kind of like religion. and its kind of more like religion than religion is. i’ll explain.

now that the yankees and the phillies are in the world series, its been really interesting here in Central New Jersey (yes it does exist). As I walked my dog this morning, there were signs in windows, “go phillies!” At work, everyone talked about it. Two brothers came in, one wearing a phillies jersey, the other wearing a yankees jersey.

I find it interesting, that my parents spent last night clapping and whooping and hollering in delight at a band of grown men in tight pants swinging sticks at balls. (nothing against baseball) they clapped and clapped and their hearts were captured by every pitch, every swing, every catch. and yet, its just some guys, getting paid WAY too much, to play a game. How come my parents, when confronted with faith, pale and become quiet? Why doesn’t the fact that Jesus came to bring life (eternal life!) and a chance to be with the God who created everything, who created them, loves us with an unending passion– bring that sort of joy, instead a sour face and listless, “well that’s good for you”? Why?

Why is it that baseball brings out people’s allegiances, the way ash wednesday does? (on ash wednesday, you find out who all the religious people are, because their foreheads are marked with an ash cross, if they were religious enough to go church that day). Suddenly, you see who the Phillies and Yankees fans are, because they wear the jerseys, and earrings, and all sorts of fan gear. They hang up posters in their windows so everyone knows who they support, who they believe in, to win the games, who they feel to be superior to all others.

And somehow, everyone’s okay with that! Sure, there’s friendly rivalry, and some people might get a little annoying with their fanaticism, but at the end of the day, both teams’ fans are respected by the others’. Two brothers can stand in line together for coffee with opposing jerseys on, and can still get along. You can say you’re a fan, and no one turns you away, or says you’re weird, or asks you to stop pushing their team on you. No one finds it offensive that you voice your opinion of your favorite team from your window or shopfront or with what you wear. No one asks you to take down the posters or stop wearing the jerseys or take the sticker off your car because it bothers them.

What if religion was like that? What if everyone was so jovial about faith in God? What if Christians wore their faith on their shirts and had it on the tips of their tongues? What if God was the topic at the coffee shop, at the checkout counter, and the bank? What if people were actively engaged in their faith, so that they could easily say, “so how bout church on sunday?” instead of “so how bout that game last night?” What if families spent their nights together reading and learning about how exciting God was? What if we cheered like we do at sports, about what God was doing in the world?

“People in Philly, it seems like it doesn’t matter if sports fans or not, they know what’s going on,”

“POWER AND GLORY” trumpeted the front page headline in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

And why can’t Christians have as much confidence, knowing that victory is already won? The Phillies fans do:

“it seemed like overconfident fans were already planning a victory parade.”

Well I can tell you one thing; it wouldn’t go over well. The Christians would be told to shove it, to shut up, to stop “pushing their Bible in people’s faces”. And so yeah, I don’t wonder why people don’t cheer like at sporting events, or bring up God like the weather in public places.

Because faith is “personal”. Therefore we shouldn’t bring it up, unless we are sure that the people around us believe it too. Is that logical?? A Phillies fan, who eats, sleeps, and breathes the team, only has that on his mind the day after a great game. It comes up naturally, bubbling out of him, because he can’t help but be excited and proud of “his” team. In the same way, a Christian eats, sleeps and breathes faith, because its his identity. Its all of who he is, and so naturally, the things God’s doing in his life, the things he’s learning, should bubble up. Yet that is seen as being a fanatic, or a bible thumper, or just plain old offensive. What if I went up to a Yankees fan and said, “please stop talking to me about the Yankees, because I don’t believe they should win the world series”. No, that would be ridiculous. Maybe I really don’t think the yankees stand a chance, but i’m not going to make the other person shut up or leave me alone. I’ll politely listen to their reasons, or their apologies for the players who didn’t do as well as they should have, and that will be that.

 

i just think its odd how pointless little things in life, and not just baseball, are totally okay to flaunt. and yet faith, which should be the most important thing to us since it drives our being, it relates to our creator, and how we function in our daily lives, is totally taboo.

 

so, hey religion, i wish you were more like baseball. baseball is exciting, it unites people, and its a topic that everyone seems to enjoy talking about, even if they aren’t a really big fan.

and hey baseball, i wish you would be less like a religion. stop consuming so much time and energy from people.

and hey God, show some more people how great You are, how captivating You are, and how much we need You.