Not out of rebellion but out of obedience March 17, 2011
Posted by highofseventyfive in documenting life, profound thoughts.Tags: community, evangelism, incarnational, influence, missional, st. patrick's day
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Sometimes I am so amazed at my life.
[for the past year and a half i have been working at starbucks. everyone at work knows that i am a christian, that i take it seriously. i've entered into community with the partners and see my purpose there as missional. a few months ago I prayed, and God told me that whether or not I stayed at starbucks didn't really matter. but if I am to stay at Starbucks, not to dangle on aimlessly, instead be diligent in praying for His power to MOVE there. Or else don't be there at all.
Last weekend 2 friends from work came with me on a women's retreat at my church, and I went with them to St Patricks Day in NYC.]
I really could never have imagined it. I think some people plan their whole lives out, but I couldn’t see mine coming, no way. Following Jesus is an extraordinary, exciting adventure. Its this weird mixture between being on a straight, narrow obedient path; rooted, grounded, safe, and firm, very real direction, and– a wild goose chase; following whims, treasure hunts, spontaneity, risk, gut, wherever the wind blows.
I read once that Celtic Christians had a name for the Holy Spirit–An Geadh-Glas, or ‘the Wild Goose.’ The name hints at mystery. Like a wild goose, the Spirit of God cannot be tracked or tamed. An element of danger, an air of unpredictability surround Him.
How is it that I find myself, two years out of college in the places where I am in my life? God is very creative, and there is nothing quite as satisfying as just getting tossed around by the wind (in a good way, not the Ephesians 4:14 way). And yet, having a rock-solid idea of where its all going, what the purpose is, a guideline within to work, a steady love that is the pulse and life of it.
Today was so much fun.
You know, when I learned how to be “missional”, I learned ONE type of it. Knocking on doors and handing out tracks and standing on sidewalks in tourist towns. Then I graduated and realized that I had to make a way in my own life to be missional and it came out looking very different. I have learned to be in community over time and witness in a slow and patient, steady manor. They see me at my best, and my worst, and frequently call me out on the places where I need to be more “Christian”. (Yes they will tell me to live by my own standards pretty often and i’m appreciative of that.) Its been a year and a half and, with all sorts of spiritual conversations and diverse experiences.
If you asked me a year ago, two years ago, heck, even in high school, if I thought I’d ever do St. Patrick’s Day in New York city and go to bars, you would get a pretty confident ‘no’. That’s not my thing, not my idea of fun. Yet here I find myself, in love with Jesus, with a life full of satisfaction, connected in church (or two), in full-time ministry– going to bars, drinking, house parties, learning beer pong, all sorts of adventures; not out of rebellion, but actually out of obedience. Crazy. Not out of curiosity from being sheltered, or out of desire to try new things, but actually out of a desire to remain true, to run deep, keep constant. Not out of wanting to change who I am or fit in, but out of a longing to be authentic and stand out. Not out of rebellion but out of obedience.
sometimes, however, being incarnational seems a little unfair. why must I go out of MY way, to do things I don’t want to, that don’t interest me, “oh here Jenna just try this” , “oh please come with us”. I don’t want to! and then try to use that to prove that actually, no, I am different. I think its a tricky balance. Cause if I ask someone to try my experience of life, its being “pushy”,”shoving your religion on me”, scary, radical, etc. My faith constantly calls to be a push over, in some sense of the word. Turn the other cheek, forgive a million times over, go where they go, sit where they sit, go be on the world’s turf.
I sometimes get discouraged by a thought, (which is likely the evil one) that comes afterward. This thought that “the world” or this community that I’m in, is winning. That the more things I try and be a part of and attend, the more times they say try this and eat that and come with us here, the more times they win. Misery loves company and it cant stand to see someone satisfied some other way. Every time I give way, be “pushed over” by “peer pressure”, in an attempt to gain trust, it feels like they win. One more step towards corrupting Jenna, and they know it. A “win” for (seeming to) convince Jenna to do more things. Yet I know full well that these things are neither illegal, nor harmful FOR ME in my relationship with God. They are not reputation-tarnishing or unwise. I honestly wouldn’t do them if they were. I do have limits, and morals for that matter. But I feel like they are winning. Perhaps I over look how many times I’ve invited them to experience God and to step further into my world, because they are less obvious steps. There’s a chance my invitations to try more of God are fewer than theirs to me but I actually don’t think that is true. Perhaps I over look the times they’ve stepped further into my world, because I don’t have a cheer section of other people with words of affirmation like they do. Its 2 versus 20. And perhaps, more than anything, I overlook the fact that Jesus has already won. So I do not need to keep a tally of how far either side is getting. And, perhaps I have to be okay with not looking like I’m winning all the time. That seems like The Way that Jesus means, however frustrating that becomes.
But this is where God has led me. To spend countless hours grocery shopping, going out to eat, going to parties, hookah bars, learn how to drink an irish car bomb, to find out what weed smells like, to figure out how to make meaningful conversation with sorority girls, learn some interesting vocabulary, to be flexible, to be invitational, and to get messy.
I could write about each thing that happened and what drinks I drank and who said what and who did what stupid thing and what we joked about. But I think THAT is glorifying it, versus just being there. THAT condones it versus “being there for my friends”.
and as long as i remain rooted, that my mission is still Jesus, love, and helping people find new life, then this is awfully fun! I’m really thankful that I didn’t quit Starbucks. There is a part of me that is very fulfilled by the purpose that I serve in being there, being salt and light.
—– you know whats crazy? random after-thought: If I didn’t love Jesus, I would just say no to everything. Before I was a Christian I was super against drinking and hanging out with strange agents. I kept to the friends who watched movies and went bowling and went to concerts, didn’t curse, and had curfews. When some of those friends got a little too ‘out-there’ for me, I just peaced on them.
The same thing would have been true of this now. (If I didn’t know Jesus) I would not go out with people from work, I wouldn’t participate in their conversations, I would likely put them down or criticize their choices. I would just go home from work and find friends elsewhere.
But now, because my heart has found the love that sets me free, I am free from being so concerned with myself. I am (not much) more patient, more understanding, and actually choosing to place myself in those uncomfortable places, instead of retreating from them. I am less self-filled.
Jesus has transformed me.
community is hard to find, and the misadventures of trying to find it. March 7, 2011
Posted by highofseventyfive in documenting life, just thoughts, Uncategorized.Tags: college, community, energy, fellowship, friends, loneliness, post-college life, time, young adults
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i seem to only blog when i want to complain.
this may be due to the lack of intimate friendships in which i feel i have someone to call up or share with. i need to externally process and so it comes out here.
tonight we will examine the many ways in which community is hard to find, and the misadventures of trying to find it.
hindrances:
1) all my gosh-dang friends got married all in the span of like, a year. i have 3-4 single friends remaining.
1a) many of them seem to not be in need of friends. apparently husbands are good enough.
2) all my gosh-dang friends—single or married, live about an hour away, save 1 or 2 in the area.
2a) the distance means I have to plan ahead. in the middle of the week the last thing i want to do is try and plan another thing on another day. i’m tired and i just dont want to be blocked in to another thing. but by the time friday and saturday roll around i wish i had, and its too late. I can’t just call someone and say “come on over” when they live an hour away.
3) i feel the lack of deep conversation and life-giving friendship because of being spoiled rotten in college with amazing ones all the time.
3a) due to the nature of my job (working in campus ministry), i am in constant close proximity of deep theological and intimate conversations, therefore reminding me of my love — and lack– of them personally in my life. it dangles in my face more than it would if i were working in another field.
4) i do not have an “office” community of people that i can meet, network through my company, or build a sense of comrodary with. i see my coworkers once a month, or once/twice a week during work. most of my coworkers are spread out across a region. we can’t just “go out for happy hour” or have a weekly volleyball game.
4a) most of the coworkers have expressed that they do not need community from our job environment because they have church and friend and family community that satisfies them. new people need not apply for friends.
5) the people i do work with are still considered my peers. i’m 23, and some of my friends are still in college. i have a real struggle with hanging with my students. although i could still (and will) consider them friends, they are my students and so even hanging out is really work. when i’m with them i need to be “on”.
5a) i still need to remain an authority figure as well and remain somewhat professional with them.
5b) i can’t rely on them to be my friends because that’s not fair to them, its not how this works. I am THEIR friend, but they are not there to meet my emotional and spiritual needs. they are not in the place nor should they be, to fill that. i can’t go to them with my problems or thoughts or for counsel.
5c) it also then feels like everywhere i go my students are there. if my students are also my friends, i’m never off of work and they are not life-giving friendships. i need breaks from them in order to minister to them and serve them when i should.
6) my schedule is wacky, and so is everyone else’s.
6a) my schedule is flexible, and so i make myself available in all sorts of ways, but friends have more conventional time frames and can’t take me up on offers to do things during the day or later at night.
7) planning something weekly or otherwise, begins to feel like another small group, or another event on my calendar to squeeze in, and to check off having attended. how do you build organic fellowship when we need structure?
8) if 5% of the population is really Christian, even less than that of it are young people. its all just old people or kids at church. Where are the young people going after God?
9) even if i have initiative, me heading something up or starting something takes a bunch of energy. i’m in a place where i need to just attend something. i need to be poured into which is what i’m lacking.
10) making friends is really hard outside of college! it takes alot of emotional energy. and there again, is it dire enough for me to over extend my capacity in order to make/maintain friends? instead it becomes easier to retreat.
experiments:
1) bible study on wednesday mornings at Central. turned out to be so full of rules and complications (and old ladies) as a part of a national organization called Community Bible Study. it was people from all different churches, not just ours, and they needed to sit me down to “explain how it works” and all were curious how a new person showed up, not to mention that i was young. i doubt i will return, both because of how weird it was, but also that i’m not always off on wednesday mornings. that story was pretty traumatic, ask me about it some time.
2) college central- i tried being involved in the college sunday school at my church, but found it to be a bit slow, a lack of consistency in members, and just an overall feeling of fatigue at having to be “at work” another day of the week. especially on a day when i’m supposed to get rejuvenated. i really did go for a while but realized i wasn’t going “for me” and so i stopped.
3) girls night- there is a group that goes to starbucks at 8 or 9 pm on a weeknight to get together and talk. one problem is that i was always already at starbucks for work and also that time of night wasn’t the best for returning there at 5am the next morning. it is made up of college girls, and young married women and moms who seem to like to pour into the college age girls. this would be great, except all we wind up talking about is twilight and which boy is cute lately and who might be good to go on a date with and have you watched that show on tv about blah blah blah. shallow conversations, week after week. i forced myself to go to these because i knew i needed community, but i was not finding what i am deeply desiring there.
4) women’s retreat- i am going on my church’s womens retreat this weekend. this will likely be another experiment in community building where i may be disappointed with corny-ness and everyone being old. i really hope i’m able to connect with a few people and that i don’t have all my walls up. when i see that others already seem to have their set of friends, i sort of shut down and wander hopelessly.
5) dinner. i set a plan to have one person/couple over each week during winter break for dinner. i could use my singleness and flexible schedule to host people and use the house and place i am in life to have people over for dinner. i would take advantage of my stage in life of freedom to build community. i would plan ahead, but only really choose from people who are close enough to come over to dinner during the week. Every person I asked for every date i asked said they couldn’t. –feelings of rejection/failure. i just gave up.
6) i tried my best to plan meals and gatherings with the housemates i have, but they all have different schedules and different priorities. so far all school year we have eaten one meal together. its hard to keep pushing ideas for community building when no one else will help you try to arrange it, or who will make it a priority.
7) i have frequently gone out of my way for the sake of my friends and building those relationships. i consider friendship a high priority and so i will rearrange my schedule, stay up later than i should, skip things, and even be downright irresponsible in order to maintain a friendship. its not the same as people-pleasing. but perhaps this is a little extreme. i pay the consequences later for not having any sleep or for spending the money or the time in order to be in relationship. i sometimes regret it or it produces stress in my life, but i always think it is worth it. this mentality is not often reciprocated because its a “look out for number one” world. i’ve been burned by other people not being willing to put the same time and effort in to being friends and I am.
i often reflect on how much i love my life right now. i could have never expected to be in a job so fulfilling and oozing with purpose and life. so flexible and fun. and affirming and uplifting. the freedom i have and the life i have is really awesome!
and just every now and then you get in a funk where you can’t see whats right in front of you because you’re too busy complaining. and thats now. i’m not sure if i’m overly dramatic about my “loneliness” but its just what i feel.
i know many people all feel the same way, but we’re all somehow tired of arranging, putting ourselves out there, having a fear of rejection, both in plans and as a person. and so none of us do anything about all this.
How to Start & Build Jesus-following Community (and how to influence a culture) according to the Bible. April 26, 2009
Posted by highofseventyfive in theology.Tags: community, deceit, early church, gospel, healing, Jesus, Peter
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How to Start & Build Jesus-following Community (and how to influence a culture) according to the Bible. Part 2
Part 2: A study of Acts 4 & 5
What I didn’t realize was how important Peter was in the early church. He denies Jesus three times, he’s total, “jello” as a friend puts it. He just cannot seem to keep it together, even when Jesus asks him specifically to love and tend to his people. But then the day of Pentecost comes, Peter is filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, and from there he becomes an unstoppable force.
Observing the early church you find Peter healing people. Healing, a miracle, a sign, that would point to God’s “God-ness”, became a draw for people, who would come from all over just to stand in the shadow of Peter’s presence. Many came to faith through the miracles performed through the power of God by Peter and the other apostles. (Acts 5:12-16)
Along with these healings, they would plainly preach the gospel of Jesus. They were clear to point to the Lord for all the power and all the things seen by the people. The apostles has boldness. They spoke of Jesus boldly, where they knew they would be persecuted. And they were thrown in jail—multiple times.
“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12
It is neat to look at the intense tie between teaching and healing. Just dissect this part: “For that a notable sign has been performed through them is manifest to all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it. But in order that it may spread no further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more any one in this name.” so they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus.”
They recognize the sign, and say, “it” may spread no longer (what really is the “it”?). They say, “no more teaching! No more speaking!” they don’t say, “no more healing!” I think that healing without teaching is useless. There are plenty of flukes and strange coincidences around us. But unless someone points a miracle or healing to the Lord, they are of no value. And here the Sadducees recognize the power of the Word.
Jesus-following community PR. (public relations):
Public Relations –noun
1. the actions of a corporation, store, government, individual, etc., in promoting goodwill between itself and the public, the community, employees, customers, etc.
Jesus-following community is recognized by outside communities by the following attributes:
amazing miracles
o “What are we going to do with these men?” they asked. “Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it.” Acts 4:16
o The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people…they were highly regarded by the people… more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number. As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by evil spirits, and all of them were healed. Acts 5:12-16
being like Jesus
o “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” Acts 4:13
persuasive teaching
o “…the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead…But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.” Acts 4:2-4
o “For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Acts 4:20
o “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name”, he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood”. Acts 5:28
o “Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good new that Jesus is the Christ.” Acts 5:42
the crowd/followers
o “They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened.” Acts 4:21
o “…they were highly regarded by the people. Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number.” Acts 5:13-14
o “…They did not use force, because they feared that the people would stone them.” Acts 5:26
obedience/repping JC under pressure
o “They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them: “By what power or what name did you do this?” Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “rulers and elders…then know this you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth…” Acts 4: 7-10
o “…commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “judge for ourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Acts 4:18-20
o “With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.” Acts 4:33
o “Go, stand in the temple courts,” he said, “and tell the people the full message of this new life.” At daybreak they entered the temple courts, as they had been told, and began to teach the people.” Acts 5:20-21
o …“We must obey God rather than men!” Acts 5:29
Jesus-following community Values:
Values- the ideals, customs, institutions, etc., of a society toward which the people of the group have an affective regard. These values may be positive, as cleanliness, freedom, or education, or negative, as cruelty, crime, or blasphemy.
Values of (and within) the Jesus-following community according to Acts 4-5:
News/updates from the mission field:
o Peter and John went back to their own people and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.” Acts 4:23
Corporate Prayer:
o “When they heard this. They raised their voices together in prayer to God.” Acts 4:24
(What they prayed for)
• “…enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonder through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” Acts 4:29-30
Unity:
o “All the believers were one in heart and mind.” Acts 4:32
Sharing/frugality:
o “…No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.” Acts 4:32
Honesty:
o “…how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit…?” Acts 5:3
What does the impact of deception/unconfessed sin have in a witnessing community?
Here is the first recorded sin in the new Jesus-following community.
To recap the story in Acts 5, we see how everyone was sharing with one another and making great sacrifices for the good of this shamble of believers. Sometimes that meant selling land or house. One couple sold a plot of land, and they gave the money over, as a sacrifice of sorts, making a public display of I guess. They didn’t give the whole amount (but they said they did). When Peter confronts first he husband, then the wife, they both drop dead!
Love of praise for generosity and love for money led to this sin. It’s a warning to us, that God can’t be mocked.
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. Man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:7-9
The couple had a right to keep back whatever they chose, but to make it appear that they had given it all when they had not, was a sin (deceit/lying). Was dying really a proper consequence? Seems a little harsh. My Bible note says, If no dire consequences had followed this act of sin, the results among the believers would have been serious when the deceit became known. Not only would dishonesty appear profitable but the conclusion that the Spirit could be deceived would follow. It was important to set the course properly at the outset in order to leave no doubt that God will not tolerate such hypocrisy and deceit.
The deceit would have harmed the community itself. But also, I think of the impact it would have on outsiders. If its found out that the prosperity and joy and sharing that goes on within the community is contrived, false, not totally dependent on God, distrust will arise. And, most importantly, people won’t believe God. If all the believers are going around saying, “look how God is providing for us!” and turns out some people are just themselves not trusting God totally by keeping back some, its going to look like they just make the whole thing up. Not a good way to witness. Its neat actually, to see that God made a move right there to just stop nonsense in its tracks. It says next that “ Non one else dared join them”. No pretenders or half-hearted followers risked identification with the believers.
What does that mean for us today? The church is CHOCK FULL of deceit. I think that’s why so many people think it’s a scam (cause some places it IS). Why has God allowed it to happen? How come not every liar is knocked down dead on the spot? Are there any correlations to half-hearted believers then, and now?
So, in order to glorify God most, we have to trust Him better. And, call our brothers and sisters out on things that we see happening. Because by letting them go, we are hurting God’s reputation—which goes back to PR thing I suppose.
How To Start & Build Jesus-following Community January 4, 2009
Posted by highofseventyfive in theology.Tags: Bible, community, culture, Jesus
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How to Start & Build Jesus-following Community (and how to influence a culture) according to the Bible//By Jenna Garrison
Jesus was Jewish, everyone knows that–and his followers were Jews. The Jews were meant to be a people set apart. Any trade route would have to pass through Israel, and the Jews would be there to share God with them, both through what they said as well as how they acted and followed the Law. They were specifically told not to co-mingle with others, because God’s purpose was for them to be a people set apart for His glory.
However, at the time Jesus came around, most of Jewish tradition was all mixed up. There was such a variety within the people of God as to what to do and how much to follow. They had begun to look like “everyone else” by adapting different gods and being swayed from what Moses had established.
There was one group, whose writings were found in a cave (The Dead Sea Scrolls), the Essenes. The Essenes led a strictly celibate and communal life — often compared by scholars to later Christian monastic living. They had customs and observances such as collective ownership, elected a leader to attend to the interests of them all whose orders they obeyed, were forbidden from swearing oaths, and sacrificing animals, controlled their temper and served as channels of peace, had no slaves but served each other and, as a result of communal ownership, did not engage in trading. There are lengthy accounts of their communal meetings, meals and religious celebrations. A commitment to practice piety towards “the Deity” and righteousness towards humanity, to maintain a pure life-style, to abstain from criminal and immoral activities, to transmit their rules uncorrupted and to preserve the books of the Essenes and the names of the Angels. Their theology included belief in the immortality of the soul and that they would receive their souls back after death. Part of their activities included purification by water rituals, which was supported by rainwater catchment and storage.
These guys fled the Jewish traditions going on in the main hub of Sephhoris, to separate themselves. They also had a great longing for the Messiah to come and were looking towards the end of the world.
Again, insert Jesus: He came with radical ideas that most people were opposed to, except the band of loyal followers he rounded up. One very poignant episode that exposes the culture of the Jews was when Jesus turned tables over in the temple. Sick of what the Jews had allowed God’s house to become, Jesus pretty much yelled at them and trashed the place.
All this to say, people were pretty confused. But, they still identified themselves as Jews and participated in the worship and sacrifice of Judaism. Jesus started calling them to do things that were opposite of the law. Fast forward, Jesus died, rose again, peaced out, and filled his followers with the Holy Spirit.
Now, left to their own devises, what would they do? I am particularly fond of Paul for what comes next. The Jesus movement, was most certainly a sect or branch of Judaism. They were not trying to leave, but rather incorporate this new chapter of faith into what was already going on. However, this failed miserably. The Jesus followers weren’t able to convince most of the Jews and so became quite a small portion of Judaism. There came to be a great many struggles and strains which led the Jesus people farther from their roots. (I think its interesting that today, Christians and Jews are seen as opposites, but back then, really all they wanted to do was keep being Jewish but follow the Messiah.) Some of the issues that came up, i hope to delve into more specifically as i search the scripture. But off the top of my head: How much to hold onto from Jewish tradition. Circumcision. Gentiles and Pagans. (Jesus held out faith for anyone who would believe. And for the early Christians, that meant converting pagans and gentiles to become Jews! And then secondly follow Jesus’ teachings.)
So, on top of being confused as Jews, now these radicals were also confused of what place they had in Judaism, and what they were supposed to value as a community. I see the parallel of fumbling faithfuls around me today. The struggles of a new Christian; seeing how they start to peel off the layers of bad habits, adjusting to those around them; Having their actions and thoughts judged by the surrounding well-adjusted Christians. Thankfully (depending on how you look at it), most new Christians are thrust into a totally new culture, where they are mentored and nurtured and quite easily adapt to a community that they admire and strive to be like. This early sanctification process is often messy and confusing. “What’s the right thing to do?” “Can I do this anymore?” “Can I hang out with them now?”
Instead of joyfully accepting them as they are, and watching by as Jesus does the dirty work of transformation, we jump right in and start the makeover, tweaking and correcting so as to mesh peacefully with our already established rules, regulations, and values. In no such way can you have faith without being like “us”, who are just like “them” of our parents and grandparents.
And what is to make of a group who most nearly are all new Christians, or wavering ones? How do they bounce off each other and what are the values held in a community that is all trying to figure it out together? Is it okay to leave them to their own devices? I’ve seen such groups around me, and to be honest, was shocked and appalled at their behavior. I then felt an insurmountable heap of guilt at my judgment.
Through this study I hope to learn about how Paul and his band of buddies trudged out the makings of the Christian faith. How did they decide what was important, and what to let go of? Where was the role of tradition, and of the Holy Spirit? As well, I hope to come to appreciate the sloppy starts of a life of faith, and be filled with a perspective of grace and love towards the groups and individuals that I come in contact with.
Secondly, I hope to discover the true workings of community and culture, and how the great radical leaders of the Bible actually influenced many. How did a little group of radicals withstand centuries of persecution, and what explains the steadfastness of the first followers of Christ? I am very excited to find out.
Thirdly, (I am rather ambitious) I hope to find out how to examine the values of the communities that I am a part of, and how I can influence those groups in the direction that I feel God is leading us to go. This all might be very basic stuff, studied and documented by tons of other people, I have no doubt. But I am pumped to do it for myself and see what God shows me through the whole process.
Also, (phew!) I want to look at these groups who seem to have it all together. Are we really any better off? Is there an advantage to being squeaky clean with all the kinks worked out? Or are we missing out on the richness of authenticity and from-the-ground-up hard work?
After i’m done this maybe i’ll write a book. Or just another blog 
